I hate Directv right now. A lot.

Directv emailed me a couple of months ago, telling me that I needed a new dish and receiver, because they were switching satellites. I made an appointment for today between 12 and 4. I was pleasantly surprised when the guy showed up at 11:58 AM. He promptly got to work, and now I only have one dish in my yard, which is an improvement,

However, this new box they forced me to get is an HD receiver, one which does not work with my Tivo, my tv, or my Directv account. Because I don't have and HDTV. I have a regular tv. A normal big fat standard definition television. It won't allow my beloved Tivo to change channels to record. I'm getting a little jittery just thinking about it. How on earth can I be expected to watch shows when they are actually on? That's not how I roll.

So I called the handy phone number they had given me and went through the "are you sure you plugged into the wall" questions, and eventually got them to believe me and transfer me to the technical support department. I explained to him that it won't chance channels properly , and then I sat on the line with him for nearly 15 minutes while he breathed into his headset and typed on his keyboard. After the 15 minutes, he said "there's nothing we can do for you."

And I said "no, you need to fix this."

He said, "well, Directv upgraded your receiver, but didn't charge you for the service call, nor did they force you to pay for HD service, so there's nothing more I can do. Since the the problem is with the Tivo, maybe you should call them to see if they've found a solution" As if it's Tivo's fault.

I relized I was not going to get anywhere with the Directv guy, so I actually tried calling Tivo. The girl at the other end of that call was more sympathetic, but had no decent answers for me and put me on hold to find out about new products that they might have for me. I waited a couple of minutes, but eventually hung up.

And then I did what any other sane person would, I shopped for DishNetwork and Mediacom deals on the internet. Unfortunately, once the honeymoon with those folks is over, their customer service would be just as bad.

I just called DirecTV again, got a standard customer service guy and he said "they shouldn't have given you an HD receiver, they can come out on Monday to reinstall a regular one."

What?

I just spent 3 godforsaken hours on phone calls to people who don't give a shit, repeating the modern-day custserv mantra: "I'm sorry that must be frustrating for you", and it turns out I got the wrong receiver in the first place?? What the hell? I think I might be more angry than I was when I though the programmers of the new-fangled boxes had made a mistake and they were just stupid. I might still cancel the DirecTV just to make a point. I wish I weren't so addicted to a few cable TV shows, or I'd just cancel it altogether and switch to using just Netflix and Hulu and iTunes for my boob tube-type enjoyment.

And people wonder why a little part of me wants to go live with the Amish?