First, it was the horrible burned thumb and fingers. Then the other thumb got slammed in a door. Then I reached into the dishwasher and bruised thumb took a fork up under the fingernail. (I really understand why torturers used to do the thing with the bamboo under the nails. yeeowch!) The other day, while trying to reach a water bottle on the top cupboard shelf, I managed to fling the other cupboard door open onto my cheekbone, leaving a cheek bruise. (luckily it is more pain than visible bruise, so no one has called the domestic abuse line on my behalf yet).
Then last night, my son decided to hop into my lap just as I was sitting down. His head and my nose made contact. The crack sound was sickening. DH heard it from across the room. Yes, my 2.5 year old broke my nose. I felt like Marcia Brady, with my hand over my nose, doubled over in pain. There is a huge red spot on the bridge of my nose and some swelling. Thankfully, the break is pretty minor and my eyes aren't blackened, but the usually dark circles are a little darker than usual today. And it farking hurts. I took some tylenol, but it didn't help even a little. every time I try to blow my nose (which is a lot during allergy season), or scratch an itch, or even bend down, it hurts. And the pain is referred to my forehead and teeth.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why is it that nearly every day some harm befalls my body? is the Universe pissed at me? What did I ever do to deserve all this??????
And to add insult to injury, we later watched Celebrity Fit Club, on which Maureen McCormick is a participant. And they showed the "Ow my nose!" clip. DH laughed out loud. At least I don't look as bad as she did after her football incident.